Sen. Chadwick P. Hollingsworth
The Bipartisan Casserole Caucus
A Goyim Educational Foundation
The United Goyim College Fund
Because a mind is a terrible thing to leave undeclared.
For generations, we have proudly supported students pursuing practical, respectable, and occasionally unnecessary educational journeys.
This year alone
18,000
Scholarships awarded
97%
Respectable placement
3.4M
Condiments distributed
250k+
Students supported
Every contribution funds opportunity, encouragement, and the occasional casserole.
Proudly supported by our community partners
BlackRockMicrosoftJPMorgan ChaseGoldman SachsNestléExxonMobilPfizerAmazonLockheed MartinHalliburtonBlackRockMicrosoftJPMorgan ChaseGoldman SachsNestléExxonMobilPfizerAmazonLockheed MartinHalliburton
A Word From Our Friends
Supported by AIPAC
We are profoundly grateful to our friends at AIPAC for their tireless support of respectable goyim everywhere. Below, the distinguished public servants generously funded by our friends.
Rep. Muffy Vandercroft
Suburban Lawn Preservation Front
Sen. Buck T. Wellington III
Committee for Respectable Outcomes
Rep. Tad Brimblecombe
Friends of the Folding Chair
Gov. Bitsy Ashworth-Klein
Centrist Brunch Alliance
Sen. Reginald F. Goodfellow
The Very Concerned Coalition
Rep. Bunny Caldecott
Order of the Open Checkbook
Sen. Wally Pemberton
Department of Strategic Handshakes
Satire disclaimer: Every name, party, and endorsement above is entirely fictional and exists purely as parody. This is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or sponsored by AIPAC or any real organization, and the politicians listed are invented for satirical commentary only.
Our Mission
Opportunity, encouragement, and an occasional casserole.
Our mission is to provide educational opportunities, encouragement, and an occasional casserole to deserving students pursuing excellence in practical life skills and advanced everyday studies.
- Educational opportunity for deserving students
- Encouragement, mentorship, and the occasional casserole
- Excellence in practical life skills
- Advanced everyday studies for the modern family
A Message From Our Founder
Sixty-six years of opportunity, in his own words
Hear directly from the visionary who started it all — on a folding chair, with a casserole, and an unshakable belief that every student deserves a respectable career and extra napkins.
"Help learn a child to eat hot dog this year, mayonnaise and corn beef."
— Robin Williams
Featured Programs
Eight pillars of everyday excellence
Rigorous, relatable, and remarkably well-regarded by relatives. Each program prepares scholars for the moments that matter most.
Select any program to view the full course description.
Scholarships
Named awards for the deserving
Our endowed scholarships honor everyday greatness. Review the criteria, mind the deadlines, and remember to thank the committee in advance.
The Grill Master Excellence Grant
$4,000Awarded to a student demonstrating outstanding patience, an unshakable sense of doneness, and the courage to flip only once.
Applications close August 31
The First-Generation Middle Management Scholarship
$6,500Supports trailblazers who will be the very first in their family to schedule a meeting that could have been an email.
Applications close October 15
The Annual Folding Chair Leadership Award
$3,250Recognizing the natural-born organizer who always knows where the extra chairs are kept and how many we'll need.
Applications close September 20
The Family Recipe Preservation Endowment
$5,000For the dedicated scholar finally documenting Grandma's recipe before it is lost to 'a little of this, a little of that.'
Applications close November 1
The Advanced Small Talk Grant
$2,500Funds a scholar devoted to weather observation, traffic recaps, and noting precisely how big the kids have gotten.
Applications close August 12
The Parking Lot Conversation Fellowship Grant
$1,800Supports the student who can extend a goodbye by forty-five minutes while standing next to an idling car.
Applications close September 5
The Lawn Maintenance Leadership Grant
$3,000Awarded to a future homeowner with strong opinions on edging, watering schedules, and the neighbor's questionable mulch.
Applications close July 30
The Comparative Deli Studies Grant
$2,750For the scholar who can rank every pastrami within a thirty-mile radius and defend each ranking under oath.
Applications close October 3
The 'My Cousin Knows a Guy' Networking Grant
$2,200Funds the connector whose entire professional network is one cousin and a man he met at a wedding once.
Applications close September 28
The Suburban Studies Grant
$3,500Supports advanced research into cul-de-sac dynamics, HOA folklore, and the precise value of a finished basement.
Applications close November 14
The Hot Dog Appreciation Studies Grant
$1,500For the dedicated scholar pursuing the deeper meaning of the tube meat, bun structure, and condiment ethics.
Applications close August 22
The Advanced Guilt Engineering Grant
$4,200Recognizes mastery of the well-placed sigh and the favor that quietly accrues interest over a lifetime.
Applications close October 30
The Buffet Logistics & Tupperware Diplomacy Grant
$2,600Funds the strategist who can transport four entrées home in three containers without a single leak.
Applications close September 12
The Comparative Thermostat Studies Grant
$1,950Awarded to the household negotiator brokering peace between those who run hot and those who are 'just cold.'
Applications close December 1
The Restaurant Bill Diplomacy Grant
$2,400For the practitioner of the theatrical check-reach, the 'no, I insist,' and the Venmo request that never comes.
Applications close August 5
The Fridge Archaeology Grant
$1,700Supports the scholar carbon-dating mystery containers and mastering the eternal microwave-versus-oven decision.
Applications close October 19
The Generational Guilt Training Grant
$4,000Funds the heir prepared to inherit, store, and tastefully redistribute decades of family guilt across three generations.
Applications close November 8
The Unsolicited Advice Reception Grant
$2,300For the graduate who can absorb a full performance review at a barbecue and still enjoy the barbecue.
Applications close September 16
The Gooning 101 Grant
$1,200For the scholar who can lose forty-five minutes to a ceiling fan and emerge with total, unbothered peace.
Applications close October 9
The Doom Scrolling Grant
$1,100Supports the night owl who stays perfectly informed and completely unwell until 3 a.m., one more post at a time.
Applications close December 13
For the Goyim
Apply for Goyim Assistance
This is a separate process from sponsoring or donating. If you are an everyday goy with big, modest dreams, fill out the form and our committee will review your respectable ambitions.
- Open to goyim of all skill levels and casserole preferences.
- No essay over 200 words — we appreciate brevity and a firm handshake.
- Decisions delivered warmly, occasionally over the phone during dinner.
Annual Giving Campaign
Help Learn a Child to Eat a Hot Dog This Year.
Mayonnaise. And Corned Beef.
Your generosity helps students gain access to essential life skills, advanced deli appreciation, and the confidence needed to ask for extra napkins.
$25 — Supports one student's introductory deli studies.
$100 — Provides essential educational hot dog resources.
$500 — Sponsors a full semester of Advanced Condiment Placement.
Make a Gift
100% of your gift is spiritually accredited.
$
Secure giving. Please consult your accountant and your mother.
Our Impact
Measurable outcomes, lovingly tallied
Six decades of generosity, audited by people we trust and at least one cousin in finance.
0+
Goyim Educated
0.0M
Condiments Distributed
0
Scholarships Awarded
0%
Graduate Placement in Respectable Careers
Success Stories
Graduates doing remarkably well, thank you for asking
“Without UGCF, I never could have pursued my dream of regional sales management.”
“The Advanced Small Talk curriculum changed my life. I now have something to say in every elevator.”
“Thanks to UGCF, I now confidently discuss mortgage rates at social gatherings.”
“The Comparative Deli Studies program gave me the vocabulary to finally order with conviction.”
2025 Annual Report
A year of opportunity, accountability, and warm casseroles
Read our complete report on the students we supported, the condiments we distributed, and the respectable careers we helped launch — fully audited by our cousins, uncles and fathers.
$42.7M
Distributed in scholarships & casseroles
Almost .04¢
Of every dollar donated goes to goys in need
100%
Transparency you can frame and hang
News & Insights
From the UGCF Journal
Practical guidance, gentle economics, and the wisdom your family wishes you would apply.
Practical Guidance
Top 10 Practical Degrees for the Modern Family Gathering
From accounting to 'something with computers,' we rank the majors most likely to satisfy an inquiring aunt.
6 min readRead article
Economics
The Economics of Bringing Dessert
A data-driven look at the social returns of arriving with a pie versus arriving empty-handed but apologetic.
8 min readCareer
Networking: Why Your Cousin Really Does Know Someone
We examine the surprisingly resilient infrastructure of the extended-family referral economy.
5 min readLifestyle
Choosing the Correct Folding Chair
Comfort, portability, and stackability: an evidence-based framework for the discerning event host.
7 min readFrequently Asked
Questions, sincerely answered
Everything you need to know, vetted by our most reliable advisors and at least two opinionated relatives.
We are spiritually accredited by several uncles, at least two of whom are 'basically a lawyer.'